Back to School

1 August 2024

School takes up a big part of your time, so it is important that you feel safe and happy for at least most of it. But what if you are feeling anxious or scared about going back? School can bring up lots of feelings that might not feel so good, particularly when you have spent some time away. This can feel worse after the Summer Holidays because you have been off for a longer time.

Things you might be worried about:

 

• Having to get up and ready in time for school
• What the school will look like, are there going to be changes you didn’t know about?
• Having a new teacher
• Making new friends
• Keeping the friendships you already have
• People might not like you
• Having to read in front of everyone else
• Being in the school play
• If you will understand the work and be able to get it done
• If you can go to the toilet when we need to
• What’s for lunch
• Remembering everything
• Bullying

 

Some of the things you are worried about may seem ‘silly’, but it is important to remember your feelings belong to you and they are valid.

 

So how can you cope with these anxieties? 

When you experience overwhelming worries, they can feel huge. In fact, they can make your ‘thinking’ brain shut down completely, and you may not be able to focus on anything but those worries. Your body has a reaction to this overwhelming feeling of emotion, and sometimes we call this the ‘FIZZ’. Fizz (physical response), it can show up as feeling shaky, clammy, hot, dizzy, having an upset tummy or can even make you get very angry making you want to throw, shout or hit something.

The good news is, even if you experience worries often, they are usually temporary and they will pass. Here are some strategies to try, which will help. But remember, these things take practice, and practice makes permanent. Practicing will help these techniques become a natural response.

 

STOP  

 

S   Stop! Stop what you are doing and remain still for a moment.

T   Take a deep breath, in through your nose and out through your mouth.

O   Observe. Look at the situation… What am I thinking about? What am I focusing on? What am I reacting to? What am I feeling in my body? Then try to take a moment to decide how you are going to respond.

P   Practice. Keep practicing the steps above until you start to do it naturally as a difficult situation arises.

 

Right Now 

Sometimes when you feel anxious, finding something to distract yourself with can be really helpful.

Find or imagine: 

5 things you can See.

4 things you can Hear. 

3 things you can Touch.

2 things you can Smell.

And finally, take 1 Deep breath.

 

Turn the Mind 

Turning your mind is a useful skill, but one that takes a lot of practice. It is about turning away from your old way of doing things and finding a new way. Imagine you are at a junction in a road. Turning left is the old way of doing things, which may have so far not been helpful. Why not try turning right, and taking a new direction in the hope for a better outcome?

 

The 5 Ways to Wellbeing

1. Connect With Others – Speaking with someone about things you are finding difficult is one of the best ways to offload your thoughts and worries. Often, you find others are sharing the same experience and you may be able to help each other through. We could connect with a parent, trusted adult, teacher, or friend.And although they may not speak back, a pet is one of the loveliest beings to connect with, remember, connection is more than just words.
2. Get Physically Active – Moving our bodies is a great way to get rid of stress. When we move, our brain produces endorphins which are our natural ‘feel good’ neurotransmitters. Try going for a walk, or dancing to your favourite song as you get ready in the morning.
3. Learn New Skills – This can boost your confidence and give you a sense of achievement. And it doesn’t have to happen in the classroom or be based on getting a qualification. Perhaps you’ve always wanted to know how to plait hair, or get sturdy… Why not give it a go?!
4. Giving To Others – I have never yet heard of anyone being kind or helping someone and feeling bad about it. Even just a smile can really turn someone’s day around. As we face our own struggles, we can be sure that others are too, so giving out what we wish to receive can only be a good thing. You could try asking a friend if they are okay or helping by taking your dirty socks to the washing basket!
5. Take Notice Of The Present Moment – If you spend a lot of time thinking about the past, or worrying about what may happen in the future, we can forget to enjoy the moment that we are in right now. Try taking your mind off things by doing something that you love or listening to your favourite song. Take some deep breaths and really focus on the moment you are experiencing right now as it is happening.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Being Prepared for School 

 Although you may not feel like it, being prepared for school in good time will alleviate a lot of anxieties. You may be feeling tired and stressed and may want to just chill out but getting into a good routine, ensuring you are prepared and ready beforehand can make a huge difference. Some examples of this could be:

 

• Packing your bag the night before, checking you have everything you need including books, equipment and PE Kit
• Getting your lunch ready
• Setting an alarm
• Do something relaxing before you go to sleep and try to limit / cut down on screen time
• If you fall asleep with the TV on, try and keep the volume low
• Have breakfast; this will help you to stay focused and give you the energy you need

 

Confidence

It is just as important to be kind to ourselves as it is to be kind to others. This can be difficult but try speaking to yourself as if you were speaking to a friend.

You could practice being assertive in the mirror, or with a trusted adult. This will help you to speak your truth, and not say things that are just to please others. Ask for support and tips from others too… Tricking yourself in to believing you are confident can be a great first step.

Having a growth mindset can be helpful too. Try changing the way you look at things. Like this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bullying 

 This is one of the biggest worries you may have about school, and something that can affect emotions for a very long time.

Knowing that you have to attend school every day and try to deal with a person / people that make it extremely unpleasant, sends our nervous system into fight, flight or freeze. Your brain lets you know that you could be in danger, and it can’t tell the difference between a school bully and a real-life bear. Your body gets ready to protect you, and this is why you experience feelings of wanting to fight, run away or completely freeze and shut down. All these feelings are normal.

So, what can we do if we are being bullied, and how can we cope with it?

Well, the first thing is to try and be brave and tell someone. It is so important to let a trusted adult, family member or a friend know, so that you are not having to carry the load alone. This might make you feel even more worried – what if the bully finds out? There are usually ways of speaking to a teacher or someone else within the school without others knowing. Ask for a 1:1 chat and explain your worries about them finding out.

Finding a quiet space at school is a good way to take a break from the bullying, and not letting them contact you on social media or via phone after school hours by blocking them. However, you should be able to access all areas of your school if and when you want to without feeling intimidated and threatened, and this is another important reason to tell someone you trust about what is happening.

If it feels like the school are not resolving the problem, ask a trusted family member or friend to support you in getting the right help if this is not happening already.

Use the Five Ways to Wellbeing to boost your energy and confidence too. Despite feeling anxious and low, there are always small steps you can take immediately to start feeling better.

 

Young Person’s Voice: Because Your Voice Matters

 Young people were asked: What were your thoughts around going to / back to school? How did you overcome difficult emotions? What advice if any do you have for other young people?

“I haven’t been at school for a while now, but I remember having to walk through somewhere where I wasn’t safe and I felt scared.

It made me feel like I wanted to not go every day. I was scared of what was gonna happen next because the teachers didn’t protect me. I coped with it by just being quiet and speaking to my Mum and Dad about it.

My advice to others would be never ignore what’s going on and speak to your parents or somebody that you trust. Don’t be afraid to speak out, because you’re not the only one going through it but people are scared to open up and talk about it. When you open up it will make you feel better, and there will always be someone that will help.”

Chloe, 17.

 

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