Self Esteem

Self Esteem is how we view ourselves, and it can often affect how we interact within the world. If someone has high self esteem they may find it easier to do new things, to make new friends and to try new things. If someone has lower self esteem they might find it difficult to do some of these things, or to feel ‘good’ about themselves consistently. Our self esteem can fluctuate depending on what else we have going on. Sometimes, it can feel easier to feel good about ourselves, and at other times it can feel harder. Often, our past experience can affect our self esteem, for example, how our parents praise us or what they focus on as ‘positives’ about us.  However, it is important to remember that all aspects of life can affect out self esteem. For example, how school has been for us, how our friendships have been, how we feel about our bodies and even how good we think we are at non school activities. If you feel that you have low self esteem – it is important to know that this is okay, but that there are small steps that you can make to improve your self esteem.

It is possible to build our self esteem in a variety of ways – some of the best ways are to take active steps towards building it. This can include things such as:

  • Focusing on what we can do, rather than what we can’t
  • To learn about and develop our compassionate self. This can be beginning to speak with to ourselves in a kind way, and learning to listen to the positives in life.
  • Intentionally telling ourselves things that we like about ourselves. For example, in the mirror to ourselves or as an affirmation for life.

Learn more about ways to boost self esteem:

You can also learn about ways to help with your self esteem through our Decider Skills course:

Our support – On Your Mind

Body Image

How we think and  feel about our body can affect our mental health in a positive and a negative way. WE can feel and think that we do not look like we think we should or that we are not good enough

There are many factors which may influence how we feel about our  body image, including the media and social media, family and friends parents, and our peers.

Being body positive can really help  to support our mental and physical health by boosting our confidence and our self esteem

You can read more about body image and ways to help you in these links

Body dysmorphia

is a mental health condition that affects both girls and boys. While it’s more common in teenagers, younger children can still be affected.

Children with this condition will excessively focus on, and worry about, a particular aspect of their appearance that they’re not happy with.

They will often act out repetitive behaviours like seeking reassurance, looking in mirrors or avoiding mirrors, going to a lot of effort to cover up “flaws”, and comparing themselves to others.

It can often cause huge distress, as well as affect their ability to thrive at home, in school or in other aspects of their lives. They may also talk about wanting to “correct” their “flaw” through cosmetic surgery.

Children and young people with this condition are more at risk of self-harming, having suicidal thoughts, and developing depression and social anxiety.

Worried about meeting new people

Not everyone finds meeting new people and making new friends easy, for some it can be a difficult and nerve-wracking experience.  So it is a normal feeling to feel worried about meeting new people. However, meeting new people can be really interesting;  you can end up having great conversations, discovering new things and making good friends.

Ways to meet people

You might feel nervous or anxious at first. It is normal to overthink about how you should act, what you should say and how people will think. Everyone feels like this at times.

However, it’s important to talk to somebody you trust if you feel like your feelings are affecting your ability to meet new people and make new friends.

Here are some tips for meeting new people:

You can join an after school club.

Visit your local youth centre.

Youth Club — RISE ProjectsYouth Action Wiltshire

| Working for the Future (

Sign up for a programme like the National Citizens Service or Duke of Edinburgh.

Accept invitations when people ask you to do things – you never know who else might be there.

Go social events where you meet new people.

Volunteer (check out your local charities or community events).

Do you get nervous when meeting new people? Here are some helpful tips for dealing with your nerves.

When you’re nervous, it’s easy to get tongue-tied or say things you think sound stupid. Above all, building your self-esteem and going easy on yourself can often calm your nerves.

If you’re at an event with lots of new people, find the people you already know first to relax a bit before meeting others.

If you don’t know anyone and are feeling a bit nervous, chat with a friend on the phone to feel a bit more comfortable.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, worried or anxious then why not try one of our helpful apps or websites.

Smile and make eye contact

You’re more likely to be friendly to someone who smiles at you, so try it yourself. Opening yourself up to people can make them feel more comfortable and more likely to be friendly in response.

Start conversations

It’s a good idea to ask the other person something about themselves to start things off. Try not to get too personal.

The first time you meet it’s a good idea to stay clear of talking about religion, sex, politics or death.

You could start by asking where they go to school/college, or if you’re at a party, ask someone how they know the person throwing the party.

From this starting point, you can find more things to talk about. Listen to their answers and ask follow up questions. This lets people know you’re interested in what they’re saying.

Remember names

It’s always impressive if you can remember someone’s name after meeting them for the first time, and helpful if you need to make introductions.

Tips on remembering names include:

repeating the name immediately when you meet someone, and trying to use it as much as possible in conversation

writing it down or save it on your phone (when you get a discreet chance)

thinking of a famous person who has the same name

If you forget someone’s name, don’t panic. Just be honest, admit you’re not great at remembering names, and ask them to repeat it for you again.

Be yourself!

When you come across as relaxed and confident, it’s likely the person you’re meeting will also feel more relaxed and also more confident